Four years ago as a freshman, the entire class of 2003 for Lowell wrote letters to ourselves, sealed them up, and locked them away. Today at the senior luncheon, we got them back. I will share with you my To Do List from 1999:
1. Get a 4.0
2. Beat Up a Freshman
3. Tackle the Lowell Cardinal mascot at a basketball game
4. Make a team
5. Dance on stage in nothing but socks
6. Slap the principal

Four years later I have not done any of the things I wanted to do. Shameful, isn't it?

So tomorrow is my graduation, meaning I'm finally going to get out of Lowell High School. I've been wanting to rant again, so I will do my best. I don't know whether or not I'm going to cry tomorrow, or be happy to leave this place. I'm guessing I will be happy, mainly because high school was not what I thought it would be. I had this weird idea that I would come into high school, continue my dominance on the grades (i got straight 4.0's at AP Giannini for two years), and be flocked by girls.I ended up not getting any 4.0's during my stay at Lowell, and no girls flocked me at all. The one thing that I always figured I would have at Lowell was a girlfriend. I think my view of girls in high school was influenced too much by tv and friends. My brother and his girlfriend have been going out since sophomore year in high school, so its been almost 9 years they've been going out. I think I looked at them and said to myself: "Ok Allan, now that you're in high school, go find that girl you're going to marry. The end." I think my problem was I expected something to happen, rather than just let it happen. It took me up until now to realize that everybody's story is different.

I've always been getting steriotyped and classified as the nerd, or that I suck at sports just because I go to Lowell. And when I do choose to defend myself, I unknowingly end up defending my school too, which I should. Even though I hated the work and some of the teachers, it became a part of me, and I found myself rooting for Lowell during sporting events. I always get the "Oh, you go to Lowell, you must be smart." So for the first time, I'm going to answer this question because I'm sick of people saying that: "Yea, you're damn right I'm smart. Now go away."

I'm going to City College next semester to start college. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I haven't really talked about college much in my blogs. Everytime people start talking about their college plans, I get kinda down. For those of you who don't know, I'm the guy who got into Davis but rejected them for a City College. I think people get the wrong idea when I tell them that. They think I feel that Davis is a bad school and all that stuff, but I'm hear to explain. City will keep me home for two years, close to my church. I know that if I go to Davis it would be hard for me to come back every week for church, and maybe that's the one reason I'm not going. I know I can always find another church in Davis, but the idea of me having a new school AND a new church leaves me uncomfortable. It's like I'll have nothing familiar to fall back on, and maybe I'm just not ready to go yet as many of you seniors are itching to leave home. The main reason I'm sad for NOT going to Davis is the people. I'll always wonder who I would've met and if I missed my chance at meeting "her." You know who I'm talking about, "her", the one. And it just seems like I have no chance of having a social life at city, because you go in, go to class, then go out. Everyone has their own thing to do, nobody hangs out after class. There's my two cents about college. If you ask me whether or not I'm making the right choice by going to city over Davis, I'll tell you yes, and hopefully I'll have something to show for it in four years.

High school is all about fitting in. I don't care what anyone else says, they're lying if they don't admit it's all about fitting in. When you go in freshman year, the main goal is to make as many friends as possible to establish some place in the high school society. After today's pop polls, I realized I did not establish myself in Lowell, and I'm glad. I wasn't labeled as a jock, or a nerd (well maybe a little), or a druggee, or a man whore. I was Allan, the quiet, "funny" guy who always slept in the library. And that's better than any of the popular titles, because I didn't change myself to fit in. I can honestly say I didn't smoke, drink, or have sex at all at Lowell, unlike a lot of people who thought they had to because it was the next step in their life. The worst award you could possibly win in a pop poll is "changed the most." You might as well change that title to "Class Slut." I'll also admit i didn't really feel accepted until...maybe this year. There's a lot of people who I got to know better this year (and who i can't name but you know who you are) that made me feel like part of something. I've always wondered what would happen if I became famous tomorrow, and how would people treat me then. Well I know your TRUE friends are the ones who will help you, and talk to you, and be there for you, whether or not you're famous or rich. And now it's so easy to see which ones are your real friends, and which ones are only there for you because they want something from you.

So cheers to all the people who gave up on me and thought I wouldn't make it this far. You're the ones who give me motivation to prove you wrong everyday.