In the Dec 31, 2003 SF Chronicle, there was a lame article on the SECOND page of the entire newspaper. This story actually made the second page. Here is a copy of the article:

Avalanche of books, paper buries man in his apartment for 2 days
New York - A man who says he sells books and magazines on the street was rescued after being trapped for two days under a mountain of reading material in his apartment. Patrice Moore, 43, had apparently been standing up when the books, catalogs, mail and newspapers swamped him on Saturday. Firefighters and neighbors rescued Moore on Monday afternoon and he was hospitalized in stable condition Tuesday morning with leg injuries. "I didn't think I was gonna get out," Moore told the New York Post, adding that he called for help repeatedly. His landlord discovered him Monday after coming to the apartment to give Moore a small loan and heard a strange voice inside. The landlord pried the door open with a crowbar, found Moore trapped and alerted the fire department. The apartment was stuffed from wall to wall and floor to ceiling with stacks of paper. Emergency workers and neighbors dug through the debris to reach Moore, filling 50 garbage bags with paper. He was freed about a half hour later, said Fire Department spokesman Paul Iannizzotto.
Moore, a former mailroom clerk now receiving public assistance, said he collected books and magazines for more than 10 years and earned money by selling them on the street. The incident recalled the legendary case of the Collyer brothers, who in 1947 were discovered dead in their house in Harlem after one of them became trapped under a pile of papers and the other died of starvation.

Ok, I think you can tell where I'm going with this. First off, this idiot made the second page of the newspaper? There are people dying every day of AIDS, hunger, and yes, even Mad Cow Disease, and this guy who has a bunch of books fall on him gets priority over them? Secondly, this guy needs to buy some sort of closet for storage, because I collect baseball cards and have thousands of them, but I don't just leave them out so they can fall on me. Last I checked, I've never been "swamped" by my baseball cards. Thirdly, there was a previous case of this? Are people really that vulnerable to piles of papers? I think it's time all magazines, books, and pieces of paper start carrying a warning label that says: WARNING, may cause death if stacked in multitudes.

Wow, I never thought I'd see the day where this big of an idiot gets such a big article. I bet all his family and friends went to the hospital to make sure he's feeling ok. But if this happened to someone I knew, I'd slap him on the face for getting into a paper "avalanche" to begin with. Next thing you know, the SF Chronicle will start putting articles about men drowning in glue factories on the front page.