I just read an article on Yahoo's front page about a sea lion grabbing a 19 year old fisherman off the boat (I can't emphasize enough how many of Yahoo's front page news stories have nothing to do with the important world topics). The kid was alright, but his "left buttock sports an inch-and-a-half scrape." I think he should go back to school and show all the girls his battle wound. They'll go crazy for him. For some reason, the article calls it an "abduction." Dude, they make it sound like this sea lion was trying to Kobe Bryant this kid. I think we should take this sea lion into custody and send him to prison. That's why we have the criminal justice system, to prosecute slimeballs like this sea lion.

I saw an ad for the FCUK brand. It stands for French Connection UK. I think this is a marketting disaster. If I had a huge "FCUK" written on my shirt and visited my grandma who has poor vision, she might throw me out. I think the designer for this brand is the same guy who came up with the "7-Up Yours" campaign. So I've decided to start my own clothing brand. It will be called "SIHT." You can deside which brand you want to buy, but I guarantee that in the end, SIHT will prevail.

Some idiot in my Business class today made a lame comment. We were talking about the Martha Stewart case, and how she was found guilty on all 4 counts. Then this idiot raises his hand and says "Martha Stewart is so rich, I bet she won't even spend a day in jail." Dude, are you stupid? She was just found guilty. You can't be found guilty, then evade prison time. I don't care how much money you have, that won't stop you from being found guilty. That's just common sense.

Lastly, while we were in Econ class, me Kenny and Brian witnessed something so sad, it was hilarious. This foreign guy who reminds me of a young Michael J Fox was eating in class, and drops his cookie on the floor. It was out of his reach, so he uses his foot to drag it back to him. Then he picks it up, and the next thing we know, he ate the entire cookie. Dude, you just used your shoe to drag it back to you. Not only that, but it was on the floor for an extended period of time. I've never seen anyone do this before. I guess he was just too attached to this particular cookie. But common man, next time pick it up with your hand, don't use your shoe to bring it closer. You might as well throw it into the trashcan and wash it off in a toilet if you're going to use your shoe.

So here's a recap of what you just read: Sea Lion rapes man, FCUK you, Martha is going to prison although some dude thinks she can escape that, and classmate drops, stomps, and chomps on cookie. Thank you for reading.