Well, I hate to finally admit it, but it's time to go back to school. I remember sitting in my bed one night and I told my dad, "I like school." This was back in the 3rd grade, and possibly the only time I've ever publicly admitted I enjoy school. Of course, I was only a 3rd grader and I didn't know what I was talking about. School was fun back then because you could buy toys at the classroom's store with the fake money you earned. Plus there were some girls I liked looking at in my class. Alright, I'll admit it, aint no shame in that. But it's been awhile since I've said the words "I like school." I will probably never say them again and mean it. Like Ray Romano once said in his SNL monologue, our happiness peaks at age 4 when the simplest thing like candy makes us happy.

I had to stop and think about my summer because I know people will see me this upcoming week and ask me how my summer was. And to be honest, I'm not really sure yet until I sit down and evaluate it. I'll say it was up there in terms of fun. I didn't really get some things I set out to do back in June accomplished, but I did enjoy certain parts of my summer. Brian told me yesterday that the difference between me and him is that I worry, which is true. That seems to prevent me from fully enjoying life. I wonder how I can be like him and not worry about things. I guess I don't have that confidence.

I also should mention something about what I wrote in my last post. I wrote the following: "But when you think about it, parental love is the purest form of human love because it's unconditional. No matter how many times you poop your pants or poop on the leather sofa, your parents will still love you. Yet for everyone else in the world, their love is not unconditional." (By the way, quoting yourself is a great way to make yourself feel important. Just try it later). However, I think I misquoted...myself. What I really meant to say was that parental love is unique in that it's unconditional from the start, whereas other relationships take time to get to that stage, and many times never get to that level. However, when I look around at some married couples, I see that they've reached that unconditional love stage. It's just sad that many of these couples, especially in Hollywood, appear to be at that stage but the trend of recent divorces seems to show that they really aren't at that level. Just thought I should clarify.

So back to my original post about summer. So what did these past few months teach me? Not much really. In fact, all I've been doing these past weeks is Karaoke and Sudoku. But I did find a part time job, was Principal of Math Camp, played CCU Volleyball and Softball, started an autograph collection of random athletes, overcame my fear of moving cars on highways by driving 12 hours to Oregon, and overcame my fear of singing in public by leading worship at CCU and Karaoking to You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman and Billie Jean in front of my friends. I'm pretty scared about this upcoming year. Not only the fact my classes might kill me, but that I'm scared about the fact I'll be graduating this upcoming year. I think the fact I'm no longer a student will automatically put me in the "old" category. I thought going out in the work force and making buckets of money would be awesome, but it's scary to think I'll be out there in the real world. A part of me wants to go to grad school, but I don't want to do it for the sole purpose of just delaying my entry to the work world and to keep my student status because then I'd just be fooling myself. My friend Joe always says "Embrace change." I've never been as bold as him either. But as John Mayer says in a song in his upcoming cd, "Fear is a friend who's misunderstood, but I know the heart of life is good." I hope to have a good upcoming school year and in the process, enjoy what Berkeley has to offer me (a trip to the Rose Bowl for the football team would be nice too). I also know that school usually means not seeing me for the next 4 months until Christmas break, when I finally emerge from my hibernation with a beard and bags under my eyes, but I want to do my best to keep my relationships with everyone as good (or as bad) as they are now. An education should never be an excuse to disconnect with people you truly care about, although it will be hard and as Alex put it today, "people will understand." Thanks for a great summer.