Today was our annual church Fantasy Football draft. I want to thank Cal for providing lunch and setting everything up. However, this is the first time that we've had our draft in church in a looong time, and a lot of people finally witnessed what goes on in a Fantasy Football draft and were stunned. When people think of Fantasy Football, I'm sure random images naturally pop up. The word "Fantasy" probably brings up a lot of sexual images, but don't worry, no strippers or girls in bikinis were present (unfortunately). I've always wanted to bring my camera and take pictures as the draft went along to show people the emotional ups and downs of a draft, but I always get so involved in my drafts that I totally disregard my camera.

A lot of people were stunned by the amount of planning and technology involved. Many passerbyers were amazed that I had my laptop out with Excel spreadsheets of data. Granted, a lot of that stuff is unnecessary and excessive, but I enjoy looking at the data and statistics. Brian even came by and put standard deviations into my data to help me see which players are better than others, which is how I drafted my players this year. When people hear the term "standard deviation", they usually start having seizures or stomach aches from the thought.

There are always essentials when having a fantasy football draft:

1. Food. Luckily, Cal provided hormone enhanced fried chicken (the drumsticks looked like they had some BALCO help) and curry noodles, as well as the Pepsi. I think last year, he brought some chicken and beef jerky. Food is always a must, but it has to be unhealthy food. No vegetarian anything will be allowed. Water is ok, but looked down upon for its low sugar content.

2. Fantasy Football magazines. Everyone needs to know who to draft and player analyses. I usually get my stuff free online, but I have bought a magazine once since I was too lazy last year.

3. Someone getting laughed at for their pick. I won't name names, but it happens every year when someone makes an outrageous pick that goes against the norm, and everyone laughs, mocks, points, harrasses, and beats the other person with paddles. Ok, maybe we don't beat them. I've been on that end many times (Todd Fuller, Fred Taylor, Jason Kendall, etc). But if you've got a guy, you gotta have balls and pick him no matter what, because he's your guy.

In other news, Brian and I bought a baseball training book and a stopwatch. I've already begun my offseason training. I'm a big fan of Sabermetrics, where you view baseball in terms of statistics instead of just pure luck. I've got a few years until I'm in my prime. That must explain why I suck at softball so much now. Anyway, we timed our 40 yard dash times on grass at the upper field at West Sunset. I'll admit, they were pretty slow relative to what the professional athletes get. I was clocked at 5.5 seconds. Brian clocked in at 5.3 seconds, and he's been using Jumpsoles (which reduce your 40 time and give you 5-10 inches on your vertical). To put things into perspective, I got this from Wikipedia: "Times above 5 seconds are typically run only by linemen, the slowest time recorded at the 2006 combine was 5.41 seconds by an offensive lineman." Anyway, I'm going to continue working on my 40 yard, even though that really doesn't come handy in softball. Maybe one day I'll be just as fast as the slowest NFL player. My goal is to get within Maurice Clarett range by next summer.

Good luck to everyone this year in their fantasy sports. As Ben would say, "good night, and God bless."